Leading with Tears
The Lost Art of Lament: Finding Hope in Our Pain
In a world that often encourages us to put on a brave face and push through our struggles, we've lost touch with an essential spiritual practice: lament. This ancient tradition, deeply rooted in Scripture, offers us a pathway to process our pain, express our doubts, and ultimately find renewed hope in God's promises.
The Problem with "I'm Fine"
How often do we respond to inquiries about our well-being with a quick "I'm fine" or "Everything's good," even when we're facing significant challenges? This tendency to gloss over our pain isn't just a social nicety—it can be spiritually damaging. By denying our true feelings, we miss out on the opportunity for genuine healing and growth.
Our modern praise and worship culture often reinforces this problem. A survey of the top 100 contemporary worship songs revealed that the vast majority focus on themes like God's love and victory in Christ. While these are undoubtedly important aspects of faith, they present an incomplete picture of the Christian experience.
The Biblical Precedent for Lament
Contrast this with the book of Psalms—the hymnal Jesus himself would have known by heart. Astonishingly, nearly 40% of the Psalms (60 out of 150) are categorized as laments. These raw, honest expressions of grief, doubt, and pain form a significant part of biblical worship.
Consider the life of King David. After his victories and ascension to the throne, we see him plunged into a series of personal crises. The Bible records at least four distinct occasions where David weeps openly:
The account of Absalom's rebellion in 2 Samuel 15 provides a powerful illustration of lament in action. As David flees Jerusalem, we're told that he "continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot. All the people with him covered their heads too and were weeping as they went up" (2 Samuel 15:30).
This is not the picture of a stoic leader putting on a brave face. Instead, we see David fully embracing his grief, allowing himself and those around him to express their sorrow openly.
The Four Stages of Lament
As we examine Psalm 3, which David wrote during this time of exile, we can identify four crucial stages in the process of lament:
The Parallel with Christ
Interestingly, this pattern of lament finds a powerful echo in the life of Jesus Christ. Like David, Jesus faced betrayal and rejection as he approached his crucifixion. He too went up the Mount of Olives, weeping and pouring out his heart to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Jesus' anguished prayer, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42), mirrors the stages of lament we see in the Psalms. He expresses his sorrow, admits his struggle, reaffirms his trust in the Father's plan, and finds strength to face what lies ahead.
Even on the cross, Jesus turns to the language of lament, quoting Psalm 22: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). In his darkest moment, Christ himself draws on this rich tradition of bringing our pain honestly before God.
Embracing Lament in Our Lives
So how can we reclaim this lost art of lament in our own spiritual lives? Here are a few practical suggestions:
In a world that often pushes us to present a polished, problem-free version of our faith, embracing lament is a radical act. It's an admission that life is messy, faith is sometimes difficult, and healing is a process. But it's also a powerful testimony to the God who meets us in our pain, who can handle our doubts and tears, and who ultimately brings beauty from ashes.
As we learn to lament, may we find a deeper, more authentic connection with God and with each other. May we discover that even in our darkest valleys, we are not alone—and that our tears can become a pathway to renewed hope and strength in Christ.
In a world that often encourages us to put on a brave face and push through our struggles, we've lost touch with an essential spiritual practice: lament. This ancient tradition, deeply rooted in Scripture, offers us a pathway to process our pain, express our doubts, and ultimately find renewed hope in God's promises.
The Problem with "I'm Fine"
How often do we respond to inquiries about our well-being with a quick "I'm fine" or "Everything's good," even when we're facing significant challenges? This tendency to gloss over our pain isn't just a social nicety—it can be spiritually damaging. By denying our true feelings, we miss out on the opportunity for genuine healing and growth.
Our modern praise and worship culture often reinforces this problem. A survey of the top 100 contemporary worship songs revealed that the vast majority focus on themes like God's love and victory in Christ. While these are undoubtedly important aspects of faith, they present an incomplete picture of the Christian experience.
The Biblical Precedent for Lament
Contrast this with the book of Psalms—the hymnal Jesus himself would have known by heart. Astonishingly, nearly 40% of the Psalms (60 out of 150) are categorized as laments. These raw, honest expressions of grief, doubt, and pain form a significant part of biblical worship.
Consider the life of King David. After his victories and ascension to the throne, we see him plunged into a series of personal crises. The Bible records at least four distinct occasions where David weeps openly:
- Over the death of his infant son (2 Samuel 12)
- Over the death of his son Amnon (2 Samuel 13)
- Over his son Absalom's rebellion (2 Samuel 15)
- Over Absalom's death (2 Samuel 18)
The account of Absalom's rebellion in 2 Samuel 15 provides a powerful illustration of lament in action. As David flees Jerusalem, we're told that he "continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot. All the people with him covered their heads too and were weeping as they went up" (2 Samuel 15:30).
This is not the picture of a stoic leader putting on a brave face. Instead, we see David fully embracing his grief, allowing himself and those around him to express their sorrow openly.
The Four Stages of Lament
As we examine Psalm 3, which David wrote during this time of exile, we can identify four crucial stages in the process of lament:
- Express Your Sorrow: David begins by crying out, "Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me!" (Psalm 3:1). He doesn't hold back or sugarcoat his situation. Instead, he pours out his raw emotions before God.
- Admit Your Unbelief: Next, David acknowledges the doubts swirling around him: "Many are saying of me, 'God will not deliver him'" (Psalm 3:2). This step requires brutal honesty, admitting that our faith is wavering in the face of adversity.
- Preach the Gospel to Yourself: The turning point comes when David reminds himself of God's character and promises: "But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high" (Psalm 3:3). This is where we actively choose to believe in God's goodness, even when we can't feel it.
- Renew Your Strength: Finally, David expresses a renewed sense of peace and confidence: "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side" (Psalm 3:5-6).
The Parallel with Christ
Interestingly, this pattern of lament finds a powerful echo in the life of Jesus Christ. Like David, Jesus faced betrayal and rejection as he approached his crucifixion. He too went up the Mount of Olives, weeping and pouring out his heart to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Jesus' anguished prayer, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42), mirrors the stages of lament we see in the Psalms. He expresses his sorrow, admits his struggle, reaffirms his trust in the Father's plan, and finds strength to face what lies ahead.
Even on the cross, Jesus turns to the language of lament, quoting Psalm 22: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). In his darkest moment, Christ himself draws on this rich tradition of bringing our pain honestly before God.
Embracing Lament in Our Lives
So how can we reclaim this lost art of lament in our own spiritual lives? Here are a few practical suggestions:
- Be honest with yourself and with God about your pain. Don't rush to put on a brave face or spiritualize your struggles.
- Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions fully. Crying, journaling, or creating art can all be valuable outlets.
- Bring your doubts and questions to God. He is big enough to handle your uncertainty and anger.
- Surround yourself with a community that allows space for lament. We need others to "weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15) and to remind us of God's faithfulness when we struggle to see it.
- Return to the Psalms of lament. Let their words give voice to your own pain and guide you through the process of bringing your sorrows to God.
- Remember that lament is not the end of the story. Like David and like Christ, we move through our pain towards renewed hope and trust in God's goodness.
In a world that often pushes us to present a polished, problem-free version of our faith, embracing lament is a radical act. It's an admission that life is messy, faith is sometimes difficult, and healing is a process. But it's also a powerful testimony to the God who meets us in our pain, who can handle our doubts and tears, and who ultimately brings beauty from ashes.
As we learn to lament, may we find a deeper, more authentic connection with God and with each other. May we discover that even in our darkest valleys, we are not alone—and that our tears can become a pathway to renewed hope and strength in Christ.
No Comments